There Is No "Right Way" to Grieve
by Mindy Yanish, Certified Grief Educator & Life Coach
Life's great challenges can be devastating right now. Or they can lay dormant for years, even decades, quietly waiting — but they are still seismic changes. Loss comes in so many forms. The death of a parent, a child, a spouse, a sibling, a beloved pet. The end of a career you built with your own two hands. The closing of a business, a marriage, a chapter you thought would last forever.
And here is what I want you to know before anything else: there is no "right way" to grieve. Each of us carries our own experience, our own timeline, our own way of feeling our way through the dark. Whatever way grief is showing up in you — that's the right way, because it's yours.
What I Didn't Know Until I Knew It
I didn't understand just how much grief and loss had impacted my ability to live fully until my mom passed away. She was ninety-nine. I told myself I'd be fine — she'd lived a long, full life. I wasn't fine.
A few years earlier, I made the choice to close a business I'd built over thirty years. I told myself I'd be fine with that too. I wasn't fine with that either.
It took me a long time to recognize that staying busy, staying active, staying involved in my community — these weren't just things I loved doing. They were protective shields. Ways I unconsciously kept myself from feeling a lifetime of grief I had never fully acknowledged, let alone resolved.
Grief doesn't always announce itself the moment loss happens. Sometimes it waits. Sometimes it hides behind productivity, behind "staying strong," behind all the ways we've learned to keep moving so we don't have to feel.
Asking for Help Was the Gift I Gave Myself
The turning point for me wasn't willpower. It wasn't "getting over it." It was asking for help.
That single act — reaching out instead of pushing through alone — was the best gift I ever gave myself. No longer running from my feelings, no longer numbing them with busyness, I slowly emerged from the shadows of buried loss and back into my own life.
I say this not to compare your story to mine, but because I know how easy it is to believe you should be handling this better, faster, more quietly than you are. You don't have to carry it alone, and you don't have to have it figured out before you ask for support.
If Loss Is Holding You Back
Maybe you're asking yourself some version of these questions right now:
Is loss holding you back from living a full life?
Are you struggling with a transition — retirement, a career change, an identity shift — that feels bigger than anyone around you seems to understand?
Does your daily life actually fulfill you, or are you simply going through the motions?
Is a sense of obligation keeping you from even letting yourself dream again?
If any of these land close to home, please hear this: joy will return. Not by forgetting, not by "moving on," but by finding clarity amidst the turning point you're in — and by allowing yourself the space to grieve, to heal, and eventually, to reconnect with what matters most to you.
You Don't Have to Open the Door All the Way — Just a Step
Healing from grief isn't about erasing the loss. It's about learning to carry it differently — with support, with self-compassion, and with the understanding that your story is uniquely your own.
It only takes a step to open the door and let in some light.
With loving support, I'd be honored to walk alongside you — to help you re-engage with your life's true purpose and let peace back into your heart.
If you're navigating grief, loss, or a major life transition and would like some support, I offer a free consultation. You can reach out at msy34@icloud.com or schedule time here.
Mindy Yanish is a Certified Grief Educator (David Kessler / grief.com) and multi-certified Life Coach based in Katonah, NY, supporting individuals through grief, loss, retirement, career transitions, and life's turning points.